


The Big Empty

by JulesTheQuirky



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Flangst, Empty!Castiel - Freeform, F/M, Fluff and Angst, castiel x reader - Freeform, the big empty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 19:19:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16771267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JulesTheQuirky/pseuds/JulesTheQuirky
Summary: Castiel is gone and you’re all alone. You decide on a whim to do a stupid thing. It’s stupid, but it might just work. You’d do anything just to see Cas again.





	The Big Empty

“Bring him back!” you yelled at Jack after watching Castiel die.

You didn’t wait for him to answer before you screamed again.

“Bring him back!!! Now!!” The tears cracked your voice, your throat ripping in pain as you relentlessly screamed.

You grabbed hold of his shoulders, tears rimming your eyes, your chest tightening, heart palpitating. “Do it!!!!

Sam came in and wrapped his arm around your stomach and pulled you away from Jack. You grabbed at Sam’s arm, struggling to get free, screaming for Jack to bring back Castiel.

In the end, you fell lax against Sam, your hands holding his plaid shirt and you cried against his solid chest. You shook, gripping him tight, your heart shredding all over again.

He picked you up and carried you out.

* * * * *

“I can’t do that.”

“Billie, please…” your hope vanquishing fast.

“I’m Death. I reap souls, human souls. I don’t reap angels.”

“Then who does. Somebody must.”

Billie crossed her arms. “Angels don’t have souls. They have always existed, after being part of God’s creation, that is.”

“Where do angels go when they die?”

“Nowhere. They go into nothingness. Before God, there was-”

“Nothing,” you interrupted. “Take me there.”

Billie laughed once. “That ain’t my domain.”

“I __need__ to go there.”

“And honey, I need a long vacation in the Bahamas, but it looks like we both ain’t getting what we want.”

“I need to say goodbye. Let me grieve.”

“Why can’t you grieve like a normal human?”

“No normal human would even know Death existed.” you stated.

“Touché,” Billie agreed. “But I still can’t grant what you want.”

“I’ll do anything.”

She quirked a brow. “When people say that they usually don’t mean anything.”

“Well, I mean it.”

She nodded, and began to walk a circle around you.

“You were always his favourite. Many times he’d beg to spare your life. ‘Just this once, Billie.’ he’d say. I’d agree, with a consequence of course. Nothing in this life gets you anything for free. He’d comply, as always, loyal to you.” she sighed. “He made you the most perfect heaven. Why couldn’t you have waited? You would have gotten everything you wanted. Castiel. And you would have been so happy. You realize you’re throwing all that away, right?”

Your mind reeled. Castiel had already prepared you a room in Heaven. Where he would always accompany you. Forever. He loved you.

“Why did you tell me that?”

“Because that’s what you’ll give up. You’ll give up your perfect heaven Castiel so lovingly prepared for you. Because there’s no way for you to return from the Emptiness.”

“But if Castiel’s there…” you started and petered off.

“There’s no way of knowing for sure, if he’ll wake.”

“He’s still there.”

“If you sleep, you sleep for eternity.”

You nodded.

“What about the Winchesters, do they know you came to seek me? do they know about your suicidal stint?”

You shook your head. “No. They’re much too busy these days, with Jack.”

“Ah, Lucifer’s son.”

You nodded.

“They don’t know I’m doing this.”

“Do you think they’ll miss you?”

They wouldn’t. You knew it. They had way too much on their plate at the moment. You wouldn’t even be a wisp of a thought. You shook your head.

“You’re wrong. Dean will hate himself. He thinks of you as his little sister, someone he must protect. At all costs. He’ll blame himself and he might not be able to cope with another loss. He’ll drown his sorrows. And Sam, he loved you, but he knew of your affections for Castiel. You were his best friend. Someone he could have a laugh with and talk for hours on end with. With you gone that won't happen and neither will he comfort you in your loss and hope that maybe one day you return his affections. Your death will rip them apart, Y/N. Dean will forever be bitter, full of hatred and angry, losing all hope. Michael will get his true vessel, thanks to the girl who loved Castiel so much she killed herself. And Sam will drift away, trying to cope, trying to manage and who knows the fate of Jack? Does this change your mind knowing this?”

You closed your eyes. Dammit Sammy. Dammit Dean. Dammit, dammit, dammit. You pinched the bridge of your nose between your fingers, inhaling a deep breath.

“Y/N?”

You exhaled and looked at her. The sad thing was it didn’t change your mind.

“That won’t happen if they stick together. They’re better together. Stronger.”

“Maybe, I’m just telling you. You won’t know. It’s a risk you’ll have to take. Does it change your mind?”

You shook your head.

“I can't guarantee it will work. It’s never happened before. You’ll know its worked, and if it hasn’t.”

“Can you send them a message from me?”

“Honey, I ain’t no messenger.”

“Anybody will do.”

“You ain’t picky are you?”

You shook your head and fired a quick prayer to the boys in hope they stay together.

“I’m ready when you are.”

You were going to see Castiel. Your heart brimmed at the possibility.

You woke up on the ground, your cheek sticking to the cold floor. It was a strange feeling, opening your eyes and seeing nothing. You sat up, disoriented and a sudden panic at your throat, claustrophobia clawing your chest, feeling the blankness close in around you. You heaved ragged breaths in and out.

“Castiel!!!” you yelled.

You hoped he was awake. Hoped he heard you. This was your eternity. You would live here forever.

You heard distant voices. You whipped your head to the direction they came from and stood up. You strained your ears again, hope burning your heart, wanting to hear them again.

“Castiel?!!”

You waited.

You saw two tiny pinpricks ahead of you. You smiled and began to run. The floor beneath you whizzed you along at breakneck speed and you stood in front of Castiel. And Castiel. You looked between the two, confusion etched on your face. Shock registered on one and a mad grin on the other.

“Castiel?” you looked at the two.

One laughed, a little nasally and entirely crazy.

“You. You’re not supposed to be here. You’re no angel. You’re just a little mud monkey.”

You blanched at the voice. God, he looked like Cas, but he didn’t sound like Cas. He had an odd accent and his nasally voice gave a vicious bite at the end of his words. His eyes held no love for you, they held annoyance and anger at you being here.

You turned to the real Castiel. He was looking at you in awe, sadness tinting his expression.

“How did you get here?” The other Castiel pronounced every word scathingly.

“I know someone.”

“You killed yourself for him. Aw,” he mocked you. He looked at Cas, pushing you slightly away.

Castiel growled when he noticed you stumble back.

“Don’t touch her.”

“You have a, a fondness for that? You fell for the amoeba. You had no idea she had this planned, did you?” The other Castiel chuckled darkly. “And now she’s stuck here, just like you.”

Castiel looked at you and something inside you gave a pang. You averted your gaze, fearing what he’d say. He didn’t know you had sacrificed everything just for a chance.

“Look at her. Hmmm, a low little scum of the Earth, in love with a divine entity. It really doesn’t get any more messed up than that.”

“Don’t call her that.”

The other Cas strode up to him and stood face to face.

“You’re both in my territory now, I can say or do whatever I like. Thanks to you, I am awake. And I. Don’t. Like. Being. Awake. I want to go back to sleep. In all of forever, nothing. Ever wakes up here. And I mean, ever. Ever.”

Somehow Cas had woken up.

“What are you?” you asked.

The other Cas, spun on his heel and headed straight for you, he came at such a speed you wanted to run. You gasped in a breath, eyes wide. He tipped your chin up with a flick of his wrist.

“I’m a friendly neighbourhood Cosmic Entity.”

“Why do you look like Castiel?”

He bent down, pushing his face to yours. You wanted to shrink away but he held you fast.

He smiled, teeth bared.

“It wouldn’t be no fun if I showed up in my true form now, would it. You’ll scream and tear out your eyes. It’ll be embarrassing for all of us.”

“So you’re the Empty?”

His smile widened. “You’re smart,” he turned to Cas. “She’s smart.”

He stroked your cheek.

“What did you do, Y/N?” Castiel questioned from behind Empty!Cas.

“Yes. What did you do? I too, would like to know the answer to that question.”

“I made a deal.”

Castiel’s face crumpled.

“What. Kind. Of deal?”

“I gave up my heaven and my life for a chance to come here.”

“So you gave up your slice of heaven for a chance, a very slim one in fact.”

You nodded.

“Hmm, and what would have happened if it had not have worked?”

“My soul would be reaped. I knew exactly what I was heading into.”

“No, no, no, no.” Castiel pined.

He pulled you away from the Cosmic Entity and cupped your face with his large hands. You leaned into his touch, smiling a little.

“Why? Y/N, you didn’t- God this was reckless of you.”

Your fingers curled round his hands. Seeing Cas, feeling Cas made you whole and happy, but thinking about and remembering his death saddened you.

“You died, Cas…” you whispered, a tear making its way down your cheek.

“You should have waited. Your heaven. Y/N, do you realise what you gave up?”

You nodded.

“I know. You would have been in my Heaven.”

“And we would have had a beautiful forever.” He wiped the rest of your tears away.

“I had to.” you hiccupped, looking into his sapphire eyes.

“And now, you’re stuck here. Forever,” the Cosmic Entity spoke. And I want to know why you’re awake.”

He poked Cas.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, think.”

“The Winchesters must have made a deal-”

“No, no, no, no,” He interrupted shaking his head. “Not with me and I’m the only one that has any pull here. Not heaven, not hell, not G.O.D himself, so. Think. Harder,” he sneered. “Wrack that perky little brain of yours.” He tapped Castiel’s forehead.

“Hey!”

“Stay away from me.” Cas warned.

“Okay, fine, I’ll wrack it for you.”

The Cosmic Entity taking on Cas’ form put his hand on Castiel’s head. You rushed forward as Castiel started yelling in pain, falling to his knees. Empty!Cas gripped your head and you went down in pain as you felt your brain surge. Your hands gripped his arm, but he wouldn’t let go and you screamed in agony, the pressure in your head building.

Then it was gone. You were on your hands and knees breathing heavily, stars in your eyes, head hurting. Beside you, you heard Castiel.

“What did, what did you do to me?”

“I read your mind, such as it is, and hers.”

You groaned on the ground. Castiel slowly sat on his knees.

“What do you want?”

“What do I want? I want you to shut! Up! I want, hmmmm having you awake, it’s like a gnat flew right up here, and it’s trapped and it’s buzzing.” he said, tapping his head.

“Having me awake, it’s causing you pain.” “Cas…” you groaned.

“If you can’t sleep, I can't sleep. Yeah. And I like sleep. I __need__ sleep.”

“Then get rid of me.” Cas grunted.

“No!” you shouted. You were scared the Empty would throw Cas deep into the Emptiness.

“Oh I should, should I?”

“Send me back to Earth.”

“Or I throw you so far deep into the Empty that you can't bother me anymore, hmm.”

“No. No, no, no, no. Send him back to Earth. He belongs there.”

The Empty crouched down to you.

“He belongs here. Asleep,” His hand cradled your head. His hand was in essence Castiel’s but you didn’t lean in to his touch. “What about you, hmmm. How do I get you to sleep?” He stroked your hair.

“Send. Him. Back.”

“That’s not part of the deal. Mm-mm, no, no. Besides, you don’t want him to go back.”

“I do. Sam and Dean need him.”

“Ohh save it! I have tiptoed through all your little tulips,” His fingers danced on your head. “Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love,” He looked to Castiel. “What you fear. There is nothing for him back there.”

“That’s not true!!”

“It is, mmm-mmm. Oh it is. He was such a constant festering disappointment.”

“He wasn’t. Not to me.”

The Empty shoved you further on the ground.

“No. Don’t you touch her.” Castiel crawled over to you and The Cosmic Entity kicked him back. Castiel grunted hitting the floor.

“If I can get you both to sleep then I can sleep. Just let’s lay down and and try and sleep.” He said stroking your back.

“Hmmm, think about it. Infinite peace, yes, no regrets, no pain.” You were beginning to feel quite tired until he tapped you. “Kiddo save. Yourself.”

“She’s already saved.” A voice close by growled. You turned and saw Cas on his knees.

The Empty kicked him hard in the stomach and he fell, groaning.

“Stop!” you yelled loud enough to wake every sleeping demon and angel.

“You can prance, and you can preen, and you can scream, and yell, and remind me of my failings, but somehow I am awake, and I will stay awake, and I will keep you awake until we both go insane.”

The truth hurt for Empty!Cas. He punched Castiel in the face, his head whipping to one side. You made your way over.

“I will fight you,” Cas slowly stood up.”I will fight you. I will fight you forever. For eternity. ”

The Empty shook his head. “No. No.”

“Release me.”

Castiel stepped closer to him, getting up in his face. “Release. Me. Release Y/N.”

Empty Cas smiled a twisted wolfish grin.

“Sorry, buddy. No can do.”

“I’m not leaving without her.”

“It’s okay, Cas. You can go. You don’t have to wait for me.” you said behind him.

Castiel turned back around and embraced you.

“She knew this would happen. Oh boy, did she.”

He hugged you tight and you inhaled his scent for one last time.

“I don’t want to go back without you.”

“That’s not how it works, Cas.” you said.

“One life for a life.” Empty!Cas stated.

“I will find a way for you. I will. I will get you out of here. You don’t deserve this eternity. I will give you your heaven.”

“Cas… I already have my heaven. It was seeing you again. Here. That’s all I wanted. To get to say goodbye. You gave me a great couple of years. And I loved every single minute of it. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

He let the tear fall down his cheek. You gave a sad smile.

“Oh enough with the sentimental crap.”

You cupped his cheek, ignoring the Empty. “Tell them I died happy. And that I’m fine. Tell them it’s not their fault. Not Sam’s. Not Dean’s, especially not Jack’s.”

Castiel nodded then leant down, pressing his lips to yours, giving you a small kiss.

“In death, I promise you. I will bring you back.”

“Time’s up.” The Cosmic Entity pulled Castiel away.

“Y/N… I-” He never got to finish the sentence as he vanished from your existence back to Earth.


End file.
